March 19, 2011

A Means to An Ends

From July 2002 to February 2010, I have been in a relationship.  For a few short weeks in 2006 I was single between relationships.
Since the demise of the last relationship (2006-2010) I have often said (pretty much to anyone who'll listen) that I have wasted way too much time the past 8 years.  Everyone has assured me that no relationship is ever a waste- only an experience to get closer to finding what we really want.  No time is ever wasted.  Both of the relationships seemed to be moving to a specific end- settling down/marriage etc.  Clearly it didn't work out that way, but never the less, I am reassured that I did not waste any time. 

Then it got me thinking-- is every relationship a means to an end?  

I have recently started dating a new guy.  I am not sure if it will go down the long-term serious relationship road, but we really enjoy each other and being together, so we continue as we are. I take it day by day-- No labels, no titles, no pressure, no stress.  We just are.  And we are happy!  He is an amazing guy.  I couldn't ask for more.  He is everything that I want.
NOW this apparently (according to my trusty sources) IS a waste of time.  

How/why do I continue spending time with someone who is not going to become my long-term/serious partner?  

It makes me wonder- although my past relationships had the best of intentions, they didn't work out, although we went in thinking it would, they according to my sources NOT a waste of time. 
However, a relationship where you know from the start is not going to work IS a waste of time-- even though they both have the same outcome.  
And let's be real- the other relationships, if all parties involved were really honest with themselves, we might say that we went in with the best of intentions, trying really hard, but we probably knew all along that it wasn't going to work out.  

Hmmm.... Something to think about.

I don't know what will happen with me and new guy.  I think he is great and hope for the best.  I am excited to find out what will happen.

Everything always has a way of working out. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi Ashley,
    I just came across your blog and wanted to write you a note because I can totally relate. Actions speak louder than words. Trust your instincts and the red flags because it will save you a lot of heartache in the end. If something/ someone seems too good to be true, that is usually the case. It's admirable how you have managed to be optimistic and positive in finding love even after several failed relationship.
    I hope you find/ have found the love of your life.

    -Liz

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