July 16, 2010
She wore what?!?!
Rewind to early June 2010, my friend Michelle called me one day and told me that there was going to be a Sex and the City 2 movie premiere at the theatre in Barbados, would I be interested in coming? Although I had already been to a similar event the week before in Canada, I agreed to go anyway. A night out with the girls is always fun. The days preceding the movie I was super busy at work. And me, the woman who thinks about what to wear before an event found myself jumping into the shower twenty minutes before I had to be at the theatre with not a single clue what to wear; and the question was dressy or not too dressy? Hate to be the one under dressed, and there is no such thing as over dressed you just look better than everyone else. ;)
Since I didn't have time to do my hair (my head of curls is a process and a half) I slicked it back in a bun (a look I perfected since my ballerina days) and opened my closet to choose an outfit. With a quick glance I decided on a $12.99 navy/green cotton sun dress from H&M, green wedge sandals, did my make-up but skipped the eyeliner, put my glasses on and ran out the door. I looked good. Not great, but good. I never look bad.
Then I got to the theatre. It was like everyone was going to a wedding. Apparently this was a more formal event that called for something more than my cotton sun dress. I felt a little awkward, but my friends assured me I looked good. In a few short minutes the cocktail party would be over and we would be sitting in a dark theatre anyway.
A woman came over to my friends and I and asked if she could take our photo. We agreed and then she asked our names and said that it would be the NEWSPAPER in a few days. Oh God. Seriously?! My one and only fashion faux pas of my life will be documented in the newspaper forever and my name will appear beside it so there will never be any denying it.
Whew! I was really worried that I would end up in that fashion don't section of Glamour.
The Dating Game
"So Bachelorette, do you choose Bachelor 1, Bachelor 2 or Bachelor 3?"
Unfortunately dating is not that easy. I just got out of a three and a half year relationship, which was almost immediately after a almost 5 year relationship. So I have been out of the game for almost ten years. That means the last time I was actually on a proper 'date' I was 18?!
With both my past relationships, I knew that the guys were interested from the start. There was no game playing, we met, I gave them my number, they called (albeit 3 days later, so following 'The Rules'), we went on a date, things went well, the rest is history. I never worried about "are they going to call," "what if they don't like me etc."
Now I am back in the game and here we are.
A few months ago, the name of a guy that I haven't heard from in years appeared in my email inbox. He and his mates were planning a holiday and were thinking of Barbados. He asked what it is like etc. This started a email/BBM relationship. We talked on and off for a few months, normal old friend convo. "Hey what's up? The weather is great!" His buddies decided on a trip to Vegas instead, so we made plans to meet up for a drink when I came home in May.
We weren't able to meet up in May, but we did agree that we definitely would while I was home for summer. One day, I BBM'd him about the yucky weather during rainy season and his response was "I wanted to take you away somewhere cold while you are home since you missed winter, but I guess I will have to take you somewhere sunny."
I may be a rookie in this game, but there is no grey area in that comment. This guy was interested. That intro led to a few hours long convo, about how he has been interested for years but I was never single. I left that convo feeling pretty good, and then-- nothing. Never heard from him again. The day I arrived in Canada for summer holidays I sent him an email about getting a drink, and he confirmed that he would in fact like a drink. Then nothing. My phone has still not rang.
Now, here's the thing gentlemen. What game exactly are we playing? Is it the "let's see how many girls we can piss off so that we never get a date" game, because I don't really like that one :(
Really, what exactly are you accomplishing? Being all mysterious and waiting to call doesn't make you mysterious, it makes you look like a wanker. And I am not quite sure I believe all of that 'I don't want to hurt any one's feelings' because whose feelings are you really considering when you say a bunch of things that you don't mean?
Look, if you like me, I want you to call me. I am not going to think you are desperate. I know I am fabulous, so OBVIOUSLY you would want to call me right away. And later, if you find you are not really that into me, just say so, because although rejection does suck for a minute or two; there are plenty more of you waiting in the wings. I'll get over it I promise. Knowing that it is not going to work and telling me that is better than me and my girlfriends sitting around for hours on end discussing and analyzing what happened to you: did you have a girlfriend or a wife/a sick mother/a bad accident/some sort of defect that you didn't want me to know about/do you work for CSIS or are you just a not nice person? You disappearing is like when you lose something, you are not mad that you lost it, you are mad because you don't know what happened to it. Because really you are not that big of a deal. But I am kind of a big deal ;)
As time goes on, and I do not hear from Mr. Weekend Away I can't help but think that it's more of his loss than it is mine. At least I am not all talk.
Unfortunately dating is not that easy. I just got out of a three and a half year relationship, which was almost immediately after a almost 5 year relationship. So I have been out of the game for almost ten years. That means the last time I was actually on a proper 'date' I was 18?!
With both my past relationships, I knew that the guys were interested from the start. There was no game playing, we met, I gave them my number, they called (albeit 3 days later, so following 'The Rules'), we went on a date, things went well, the rest is history. I never worried about "are they going to call," "what if they don't like me etc."
Now I am back in the game and here we are.
A few months ago, the name of a guy that I haven't heard from in years appeared in my email inbox. He and his mates were planning a holiday and were thinking of Barbados. He asked what it is like etc. This started a email/BBM relationship. We talked on and off for a few months, normal old friend convo. "Hey what's up? The weather is great!" His buddies decided on a trip to Vegas instead, so we made plans to meet up for a drink when I came home in May.
We weren't able to meet up in May, but we did agree that we definitely would while I was home for summer. One day, I BBM'd him about the yucky weather during rainy season and his response was "I wanted to take you away somewhere cold while you are home since you missed winter, but I guess I will have to take you somewhere sunny."
I may be a rookie in this game, but there is no grey area in that comment. This guy was interested. That intro led to a few hours long convo, about how he has been interested for years but I was never single. I left that convo feeling pretty good, and then-- nothing. Never heard from him again. The day I arrived in Canada for summer holidays I sent him an email about getting a drink, and he confirmed that he would in fact like a drink. Then nothing. My phone has still not rang.
Now, here's the thing gentlemen. What game exactly are we playing? Is it the "let's see how many girls we can piss off so that we never get a date" game, because I don't really like that one :(
Really, what exactly are you accomplishing? Being all mysterious and waiting to call doesn't make you mysterious, it makes you look like a wanker. And I am not quite sure I believe all of that 'I don't want to hurt any one's feelings' because whose feelings are you really considering when you say a bunch of things that you don't mean?
Look, if you like me, I want you to call me. I am not going to think you are desperate. I know I am fabulous, so OBVIOUSLY you would want to call me right away. And later, if you find you are not really that into me, just say so, because although rejection does suck for a minute or two; there are plenty more of you waiting in the wings. I'll get over it I promise. Knowing that it is not going to work and telling me that is better than me and my girlfriends sitting around for hours on end discussing and analyzing what happened to you: did you have a girlfriend or a wife/a sick mother/a bad accident/some sort of defect that you didn't want me to know about/do you work for CSIS or are you just a not nice person? You disappearing is like when you lose something, you are not mad that you lost it, you are mad because you don't know what happened to it. Because really you are not that big of a deal. But I am kind of a big deal ;)
As time goes on, and I do not hear from Mr. Weekend Away I can't help but think that it's more of his loss than it is mine. At least I am not all talk.
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